Velociworld

CHARLESTON

Charlie-town. Chuck-town. Whatever you call it, it's always a fun place to be. Three days of serious work with my esteemed customers, ya know. I don't know why I like Charleston so much. I think it's because I'm from their arch-rival Savannah, and I always feel like I use the town and leave nothing in return.

Excuse me if this reads baritone, but I lost my voice singing Sweet Caroline with 14 College of Charleston coeds at Henry's. My inclusion was not their idea, of course. They were a tolerant bunch, however, and The Bride was almost amused when I called her to let her hear.

Highlight of my Thursday night? Gee, could have been the carriage ride through downtown my salesman insisted on taking with our cherished customers. Well, the Senior VP, anyway. The other guys fled like cats from an ass n' turpentine party, this idea was so gay. But Fearless Leader Customer, a dour 55-year-old Taiwanese gentleman, sucked it up, and off we went. This scene was so twisted I was scared we'd be spooning by the end of the ride. But all worked out, praise Jesus. Even the Clydesdale behaved, although he had a bladder the size of a regulation B-ball, and pissed a stream of saffron smoke every two blocks or so.

What a beast.